Quest For the GoldEd Jawbreakers
by Numbuh296
Summary: My first fanfic. Please respond on if I should write more or not. This is my take on an Ed,Edd n' Eddy movie.
1. A Beautiful Day with a Twist

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd n' Eddy._

"And now for the greatest exhibit!" screamed Eddy.

"And then our museum will be open for business. Those saps wont know what got 'em. All we need now is that last exhibit. The Egyptian pyramid exhibit! Double D, where's Ed?"

"Ed went to get the last artifact."

"I got it, guys!" screamed Ed, running towards the ahem museum. A putrid stench filled the air.

"P.U! What's that smell?" exclaimed Eddy.

"It smells like spoiled tofu, rotten eggs, and the unmistakable stench of Eds socks," said Double D. "Oh, good ingredients for a mega stink bomb. Gotta write that down."

"Nah, it's the exhibit," said Ed." My tomato. It turns 8 years old in three weeks. I'm trying to plan a surprise party for him," whispered Ed.

"Ed! That's… that's… PERFECT!" shouted Eddy. We'll do an exhibit on Egyptian food! It's the perfect clincher! Truckloads of kids will come pouring in. We'll be rich. We'll be swimming in jawbreakers! Hand it over, Ed!"

"Eddy, Egyptians never grew tomato's." The climate in Egypt was too hot and dry to grow tomato's."

"So what." asked Eddy. "It's all right with me if one or two facts off."

"One or two facts! This whole museum is a lie. Look at this. Dinosaurs never co-existed with cavemen. The leaning tower of Pisa isn't made of pizza boxes! And I am not going to wear that tour guide suit. It looks like a bell hoppers uniform."

"Cool!" Eddy was in ignoring Double D. So Eddy laid down the so-called tomato down on the platform. **BLAT!** The tomato blew up, right in Eddy's face.

"Oh GROSS! Get this slime off me!" Shouted Eddy.

Ed screamed, "WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOUNG! WAHHH!"

After Double D cleaned Eddy up, and Ed stopped crying, they had to get to the business of coming up with another artifact for the museum.

" How about Tomato's older brother, Chee…"

"NOO!" interrupted both Double D and Eddy.

Eddy said, "Okay, how about this. We build a life size model of a futuristic city. It can have thousands of sky high buildings, and a super powered space ship, and …"

"Too complicated," Double D said. "We have a limited amount of time before the candy store closes. I suggest we go to our attics. There's sure to be something ancient in at least one of them."

"Okay" everyone agreed.

"Lets start at Double D's house, then Ed's, and last mines."

And they were off.

By now they were in Eddy's attic. The closest thing they found to ancient was an eggbeater from 1954.

"We gotta find something old." said Eddy.

"I found a camera," said Double D.

"I found a stuffed tiger," said Ed.

"Uhh… he he, I'll take him," stuttered Eddy. "Look! I found something"

"A moose head?" asked Double D sarcastically.

"Cool!" exclaimed Ed. "That looks like a Jawwa that's been behooded."

"This can be the first animal hunted in the first civilization um… Trans-la-vania!"

"Your thinking of Mesopotamia, " said Double D. "And do you think anyone is foolish enough to fall for…"

"Wow! Let me touch it!" screamed Ed, cutting Double D off.

"Lets go!" Screamed Eddy.

They were at the grand opening of the museum. Jimmy, the pushover, and Jonny, weird kid with his imaginary friend, Plank, came. The plan was working perfectly.

"Here we have the famed first food of civilization," Double D said sarcastically. "In ancient Mesopotamia, the first civilization, people worked together to bring down game. This was the first animal killed and eaten in that civilization. Its head was preserved to remind us how important it was to work together back then. Any questions?"

"Can Plank and I use the bathroom?"

"I'm sorry Jonny , but our restrooms are out of…"

"That'll be 25 cents extra," said Eddy.

"Okay" said Jonny. "Plank says he'll go later."

"I'll stay with you, tour guide Double D," said Jimmy.

"Very well then. Jimmy, be sure to keep it clean in there."

**Sploosh! Gush! Splash! Vroom!**

"Double D, there's a problem in your…waahhh!"

A giant wave came gushing out and crashed down on the museum, destroying everything.

"Jonny, what happened in there?"

"Plank was playing with the sink, and sure enough, he went and,"

"Mmph, urgh, err," Eddy mumbled.

"Eddy! There's a radioactive sponge on your head, sucking out you brain."

"No it's not," said Eddy. "A piece of paper was stuck on my face. Must have come from that stupid moose."

Double D examined the pieces paper and said excitedly, "This isn't normal paper. It's a… it's a …"


	2. Betrayel on the High Slide?

_Disclaimer: I don't own Ed, Edd n' Eddy, duh._

Chapter Two: Trust-Ed?

"TREASURE MAP!" finished Eddy.

"Can't I say one sentence without being interuppt..."

"Whatever, sock head!"

Eddy's eyes suddenly grew big, but his pupil's small. "This is a treasure map to the... GOLDEN Jawbreaker!"

Instantly, everyone started to drool. The thought of a golden jawbreaker made visions of cash dance around in Eddy's head, visions of winning prestigious scientific awards in Double D's, and visions of owing a chicken holding a pot of gravy in Eds.

"Wait a moment! Eddy, your brother has played this kind of trick on us before. How do you know he's not tricking us again?" Double D said.

"Cause, sock head, that moose was in our attic since before he was born. And my bro hates the attic."

"That's not a very good reason. He could have gone up there and hid it."

"Then, cause that plot'll be two close to O-Ed-Eleven," finished Eddy.

"It's not just a gym bag, it's a way of life!" Added Ed.

"Fine," Double D said. "Well gentlemen, shall we go on this exhilarating excursion?"

"Nifty alliteration," said Ed absentmindedly.

"You bet your sweet ptootie!" shouted Eddy. "What's the map say?"

"I'm afraid that's left to be discovered," Double D pointed out. "The directions are written in another language. Latin, I think. I'll go home and decode it. Come back tomorrow."

"TOMORROW? Then? You're the smart guy, you should know this!" Eddy hollered.

"Latin is a very complicated language, Eddy. It'll take me at least six or seven hours."

"WHAT? Can't you do it half an hour!"

"Do you want the treasure or not?"

"I want a picnic on the back of a silverback anaconda!"

Double D and Eddy stared at Ed.

"Shoot! Well, fine. See ya tomorrow."

Eddy, Ed and Double D walked to their homes. Eddy pulled out a "Bikini Babes" magazine and started "reading". Minutes pass. The magazine slips off Eddy's face, which revealed an Eddy gritting his teeth. He got out of his house, and stormed out to the playground to the slide. Eddy climbed to the top and sat there. He liked sitting on top of the slide. It made him feel important, as if he were a king on top of his thrown, or Richey Rich sitting on his wads of cash. Eddy never got on the slide around Ed, Double D or anybody. He thought people would think he was a baby. But today was a nice calm day. The wind blew through the leaves of the trees, which looked like crisp bills of cash to Eddy. He could see the whole cul-de-sac from the slide, or at least he thought so. He saw a black hat behind the fence that separated the park from the lane.

_That looks like Double Ds hat. And that's_ _Ed's buzz cut. What're they doin... Eddy, you idiot! They've betrayed you. I better stop them and tell 'em off. Wait. I'll catch them in the act of digging up the treasure. Then they're trapped._

Eddy followed Ed and Double D out of the cul-de-sac, through the trailer park, into the forest, until they stopped in front of a big hole.

"Ah Hah!" Eddy yelled as he jumped on Double D. "I knew you were trying to get rich without me! You dorks betrayed me! After all I did..."

Eddy continued to pound on Double D until Ed got the message that Double D was hurting and threw Eddy off.

"Eddy, Ed and I weren't going steal the treasure. Ed and I were going to... Wait! Come with us Eddy. I'll show you!" Double D said.

"Well, maybe I won't," said Eddy, trying to salvage the remainder of his dignity. He turned his back to Ed and Double D, pretending to flip through an imaginary agenda.

"Well let's see. Dinner at six-thirty, I can't miss that again. At seven-thirty, high tea with the queen of England, at eight, planning for scams until bed at nine-thirty. Nope, sorry sock-head, can't come with ya."

"Eddy, it's two thirty," Double D said.

"It's two-thirty," mocked Eddy. "Well fine. If you're going to cry about it!"

"Cry a pie up in the sky," said Ed.

Ed, Edd, and Eddy walked around the hole, which was in the construction site, through the junkyard, and past their school. Then they finally got to their destination.

"THE PEACH CREEK LIBRARY!" Eddy asked rather loud.

"Right you are Eddy. Ed was going to help me check out some Latin dictionaries," Double D said.

"Ahh, this is bum," said Eddy. "I'm going home!"

Eddy walked off and left Double D and Ed standing in front of the library.

"Well Ed, I trust you brought your library card," Double D told Ed.

"You betcha!"

Ed pulled out an old tin can that once held gravy. He pulled his wallet out of the can, which was beat up and covered in dust. Then he pulled out his library card, which was in better condition than Double D's.

"Ed. When did you get that card?"

"Kindergarten."

"But how did you get it so clean?"

"Leather and gravy are natures cleansers."

"I'll probe that theory later. Right now we need some books on Latin dialect."

_Authors note: Sorry about the very long delay. I've been very busy. I'm hoping to update soon, give me two weeks, tops!_


	3. A story of Native Proportions

Disclaimer: I don't own Ed, Edd n' Eddy, duh.

Edd, and Ed were waiting for Eddy outside his room. They just knocked on his screen door. The sun was now over the junkyard. That meant it would soon be nightfall. Eddy walked out wearing his trademark shirt and pants. He was wearing an explorers hat, and had backpacks waiting in his room.

"So, what's the map say?" asked Eddy, rather enthusiastically.

"You're not going to believe this Eddy, but that's…" Double D started.

"Golden Jawbreaker!" Ed said.

"Please Ed, you'll ruin the effect."

"Sorry."

"As I was saying, that's a real genuine map."

"SO? My gut told me that!" Eddy yelled.

"Well, the golden jawbreaker should be under the cos cotis arbutum aestuarium, or stone fruit creek, in English," Double D said.

Eddy was already digging large holes in Jimmy's backyard.

"Eddy, wait! Its not that simple! Come back!"

After Sarah pummeled Eddy, Double D explained the whole situation.

"Long ago, before the Europeans touched onto this land," Double D read, "Native Americans were met by Vikings. When the two tribes met, they became unusually peaceful. Everyone got along. They hunted and prayed together. Little Vikings ran around with little Indians. However, the leader of the American tribe leader was killed. Worst still, by one of the Vikings. Without the native Americans help, The Norse number dwindled. Eventually, feeling compassion for their fellow man, the Native American ruler agreed to help the Vikings if they brought the killer to justice. After a long search, the killer was found, and put to death. The tribe leaders soul was rested. To thank the Vikings for their help, They put together a gold rock for them to take back home. It was said the murdered tribe leader's soul made it special and sweeter than the sweetest honey. But the Vikings weren't so grateful. They became corrupt, each wanting it for themselves. Each warrior kill another in hopes of obtaining the orb of syrupiness. Soon, there was no trace of the Vikings. The Native American tribe decided the orb was too powerful to keep, so they placed it in a secret underground castle. It was sealed, and there the golden ball would stay, never seen, never tasted."

"Wow, cool," Ed said.

"So, let's look for this castle," Eddy demanded.

Double D said, "Eddy, the next part is kind of hard to make out, but I'm almost sure their is a secret to getting in. Theirs some sort of key we have to find."

Eddy ran away and came back a split second later. He was holding a giant mound of keys. His eyes were glowing with anticipation.

"There ya go, Sockhead. All the keys in the cul-de-sac," said Eddy.

"No, Eddy!" said Double D. "I was talking in metaphors. In the text, it said that the keys are small metal circles. In other words, ancient quarters."

"AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!" screamed Eddy. "It's like this guy knows what I stink at! Who wrote this anyway?"

"A Greek scribe named Polyeidus. Apparently, he was the last Latin writer of his kind," Double D answered.

"Whatever! Lets get that cash, only now, were not scamming for it."

"Casino!" Ed finished.

_Authors note: Please R&R. Also, sorry for the long delay. I'll try to update soon, but no promises._


End file.
